Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. -Isaiah 41:10
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6
Life is a journey of learning, unlearning, and relearning. Every experience we have shapes how we see ourselves, others, and even God. But what happens when our experiences seem to contradict what we believe to be true? When pain, loss, and disappointment challenge the foundational truths we’ve held onto, how do we reconcile what we feel with what’s true?
When Experience Clashes with Truth
Many of us wrestle with the tension between our personal experiences and the objective truth of God’s nature. We’re told that God is love, that He is always with us, and that He never fails. But then, life throws circumstances at us that seem to tell a different story:
“If God is love, why did I suffer rejection and betrayal?”
“If He cares, why did my dreams fall apart?”
“If He is always near, why do I feel so alone?”
These aren’t just philosophical questions; they’re deeply personal struggles. When we face suffering, it can feel as though God is distant, indifferent, or even absent. It’s in these moments of pain that we must decide what will shape our understanding—our circumstances or the unchanging truth of who God is.
Blaming God: A Common Response to Pain
When life feels unfair, our instinct is often to look for someone to blame. Many times, that blame is placed on God. It feels easier to be angry at Him than to face the raw emotions of grief, disappointment, or betrayal. We question why He “allowed” certain things to happen. Instead of working through our pain with Him, we shut Him out.
Blame is a defense mechanism. It shields us from having to confront our deepest hurts, but it also keeps us stuck. When we see God as the source of our suffering rather than the source of our healing, we build walls that block us from experiencing His comfort and love.
God’s Presence in the Midst of Pain
The truth is, God has never abandoned us—not for a single moment. Even when circumstances seem unbearable, His love remains constant. Pain doesn’t indicate His absence. In fact, some of the deepest encounters with God happen in our most broken moments.
The challenge is recognizing His presence when our emotions tell us otherwise. Our subjective experience may scream abandonment, but the objective truth is that He walks with us through every valley. He is not the cause of our suffering—He is the One who redeems it.
Reframing Our Perspective
Healing begins when we allow ourselves to see beyond our immediate pain and recognize the bigger picture. Our experiences don’t define God—God defines our experiences. This doesn’t mean dismissing our struggles or pretending they don’t exist. It means interpreting our lives through the lens of His love rather than through the lens of our wounds.
Imagine being in a pitch-black room. Your vision is limited, and you can only see what is directly in front of you. If someone outside the room tells you that the sun is shining, it might seem impossible to believe. Your experience says it’s dark. But the objective truth remains—outside that room, the sun is still shining.
In the same way, our personal pain may make it hard to see God’s love. But His love doesn’t waver based on our emotions. It’s steadfast, whether we perceive it or not.
Bridging the Gap Between Experience and Truth
The journey from pain to healing requires intentional steps. Here’s how we can begin to bridge the gap between our subjective experiences and the objective truth of God’s faithfulness:
Acknowledge the Pain – Ignoring pain doesn’t make it go away. We must be honest about what we’ve experienced and how it has affected us.
Release the Need for Every Answer – Some questions may never be fully answered in this lifetime. Healing doesn’t come from understanding everything but from learning to trust despite the unknown.
Invite God into the Healing Process – Rather than keeping God at a distance, we must allow Him into the places we have hidden from Him, the places where our wounds still linger.
Replace Lies with Truth – When pain tells us we’re abandoned, we must remind ourselves that God has promised, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).
Choosing to Trust Beyond What We Feel
Faith doesn’t mean ignoring reality—it means choosing to trust in a greater reality. Just because we don’t feel loved in a moment of despair doesn’t mean love is absent. Just because we do not see immediate relief doesn’t mean God is not working behind the scenes.
Pain has a way of clouding our perception, but it doesn’t change the nature of God. He is love. He is good. He is present. These truths remain unshaken, even when life feels chaotic and uncertain.
Living in the Reality of His Love
Pain doesn’t have the final word in our story. While suffering is part of life, it doesn’t define who we are or who God is. The deeper reality is that we’re eternally loved, completely known, and never alone—no matter what our emotions may suggest.
As we heal, we begin to see our lives through the lens of grace rather than grief. The wounds of our past no longer dictate our future. We move forward, not because we ignore our struggles, but because we have allowed God to transform them into testimonies of His faithfulness.
A Daily Choice to Trust
At the end of the day, faith is a choice. We can allow pain to shape our understanding of God, or we can allow God to shape our understanding of pain. One leads to bitterness and isolation, while the other leads to healing and trust.
Which will you choose?
Want to know more? See D. Scott Cook’s book Alignment Of Authentic Love: Living Your Highest Life.