“So then, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34
“No one, having laid the hand upon the plow, and looking (back) on the things behind, is fit (ready to operate) in the Kingdom of God.” Luke 6:62
“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” Amit Ray
My first experience with Outlook, the Microsoft business platform for email, calendar, and contacts, was in 2006. It was a little overwhelming at first. Setting appointments, putting the right email addresses in group emails, making sure my calendar was up to date, going through my inbox (which is all I seemed to do all day), returning emails, setting up meetings when others were free to attend, etc. Plus, I was continuously reviewing previous emails and meeting notes, and planning meetings and sending emails for things in the future. Exhausting!
What I realize now, I was never enjoying anything I accomplished or feeling thankful for them. There was always one more email to send, meeting to attend, problem to solve, or next thing to handle.
It reminds me of how most of us live our lives. Focused on the past, with all the regrets and “what ifs.” Or focused on the future, with all the fear, worry and anxiety of what might happen. All while missing out on the precious, present moment. The moment that will never come again. The moment that IS LIFE!
Regret of the Past and Fear of the Future
Most of my life I’ve struggled with this. Instead of focusing on the precious, present moment, I focused on the traumas, hurts and disappointments that happened in the past, or on the fears and worries of things that might happen in the future. Focusing on the what ifs of my past and future robed me of the present.
We can’t change the past. It’s already done. But if we’re willing to face the trauma, hurt and disappointments of our pasts to move into our present, we can experience emotional and mental healing. If not, we stay on our treadmill of regrets to nowhere.
Jesus said it this way, “No one, having laid the hand upon the plow, and looking (back) on the things behind, is fit (ready to operate) in the Kingdom of God.” (Luke 6:62) Jesus is using an illustration of a farmer guiding his plow behind an ox. If the farmer looks back while plowing, the row he’s plowing will be crooked and unusable for planting. The point is: in this life, focusing on the past doesn’t get you anywhere. It just ends up hurting what you’re trying to do in the moment.
The fears we have of the future come from the hurts and traumas of our past. We want to protect ourselves, or those we love, from the pain we’ve endured. Somehow, we feel we must control the future, so that things work out based on a predetermined outcome. But that’s not reality. Control of circumstances, people and God is a myth. We can only control our choice in the moment if we focus on the moment.
In my spiritual counseling, I ask clients how many things they worry about ever actually occur. Most say 99 percent of what they worry about never happens. So why focus your attention on things that never occur? Being focused in the moment can help overcome fear and worry of the future.
The Challenge of Focus
Focusing on the moment can be challenging. Below are a few of the hurdles we face in changing our focus to the present moment:
We’ve trained our brains to live in the past and the future. Years of focusing on the pain of the past and fear of the future have hardwired the neuro pathways in our brain. To take a step of change outside that box we’ve lived in for so long is difficult.
The world around us lives in the past and future. It’s difficult to break a habit when 99 percent of others we interact with are doing the same thing.
The people who’ve hurt us in the past may still be hurting us today. Therefore, we’re stuck in a defensive posture emotionally and mentally. We’re always thinking of what they’ve done and how we can protect ourselves from them in the future.
Judging people by their actions and unspoken intents keeps us focused on the past and future. The very desire to judge, to look at past actions, past failures, etc., leads us further from the present moment.
An unwillingness to forgive anyone who has hurt us in the past keeps us in the past. Forgiving the debts we feel they owe us is absolutely necessary to overcome the tyranny of the traumas, hurts and disappointments of our past.
Mindfulness: Living in the Moment
Mindfulness is being consciously aware of the moment we’re experiencing. Being aware of the moment is the first step to freedom from the domination of the past and the fear of the future.
There are three key elements of mindfulness according to Neal Bierbaum in his book “Practical Mindfulness”. These include:
Having deliberate awareness (paying attention on purpose).
Being nonjudgmental (not seeing things as good or bad, or through the filter of personal judgements based on past conditioning, but “as they are”).
Being nonreactive (to react is automatic, which implies no choice, and may not necessarily be the best for you or for others).
Deliberate awareness is the beginning point of calmness, peace, and rest of soul. Instead of thoughts racing through my mind, I’m now aware of the thoughts, and I can even become aware of my awareness of the thoughts.
Living in the moment means we live above petty judgments and opinions. We live with things as they are, without condemnation or shame from past traumas or fears of potential events in the future. Instead of reacting, we now respond, because the soul is at peace. We’re aware of the present moment, accepting life as it comes rather than judging and trying to control it, so we respond in the peace and stillness of the soul. We can now think things through without feeling threatened.
Path to the Present Moment
If you want to live in the present moment, in stillness of the soul, here’s how to begin.
The apostle Paul wrote, “leading every thought captive into Christ obedience.” (II Corinthians 10:5b) Christ obedience is His finished work or victory. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you awareness to lead your thoughts captive to the reality of your victory this moment in union with Christ. This moment you are in union with Christ. And Christ only dwells in the moment, not the past that is set in time, nor the future that is not here yet.
Meditation is a way to bring your thoughts into captivity. Meditation is a point of no thought. You’re not being controlled by the running narrative in your head. Instead, you’re quiet, still and without any thoughts. It’s in the quietness that we can know ourselves and listen to God’s spirit. Neil Bierbaum’s book, “Practical Mindfulness”, would be a helpful tool in your journey into meditation.
You are spirit and one with the Holy Spirit. Ask the Spirit to make you more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. To come out of the fog of regret and fear from living in the past and future so you can enjoy the precious present.
But be kind to yourself; change comes slowly, and the first step is the most important one. Ultimately, it is the Spirit’s responsibility to take care of you, but you have to make a conscious choice to rely on the Spirit each moment. Together, you’ll live the precious present moment life!