How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! -1 John 3:1

We could also say that there is only one real kind of poverty: not living as children of God and brothers and sisters of Christ. -Pope Francis

Love is often misunderstood. Many people believe love is about possession, control, or earning someone’s affection. But authentic love is different—it is selfless, free, and unconditional. True love does not demand change but desires the best for the other person, even if that best does not include us. This is the nature of Divine love, and it’s the love God extends to each of us.

The Power of Perception: Believing the Lie or Embracing the Truth

Imagine inheriting a vast estate from a relative you were told was cruel, selfish, and unkind. Your entire life, you avoided this person because of the stories others told you. You never took the time to know them yourself. But when they pass away, you learn from their closest friends that they were nothing like what you had been told! They were loving, generous, and deeply cared about you.

This is exactly how many of us approach God. We’ve been conditioned by past traumas, painful experiences, and even religious teachings that paint God as distant, harsh, or demanding. Instead of experiencing His love firsthand, we base our perception of Him on the lies we’ve believed.

So we live our lives in unnecessary separation from God. Not because He has distanced Himself from us, but because we’ve misunderstood who He is.

The Invitation to Participate in God’s Love

We’re not only loved by God; we’re invited to participate in His love. The relationship between the Father, Son, and Spirit is one of perfect unity and love, and we’re included in that relationship. This isn’t a love we need to earn; it’s a love we are already part of. The problem is not whether we’re included but whether we recognize and embrace it.

But we struggle with this because we believe we must change first. We think, “If I just fix this part of me, then God will love me more.” But God’s love isn’t performance-based. You’re already everything He ever wanted.

The Lies We Believe Versus the Truth We Need

One of the most powerful moments in my counseling sessions is when I look into someone’s eyes and say:

You are deeply loved by God.
God thinks of you more times in a day than there are grains of sand on the seashore.
You are everything God ever wanted, right now.
You are a masterpiece and priceless in His eyes.

Rarely do people hold eye contact. These words go against the lies they’ve believed about themselves for years. Many have never had a true model of love, especially from a father figure. If someone has experienced an earthly father who was absent, abusive, or unpredictable, they often project those qualities onto God.

But God is not like that. He is not unreliable, angry, or distant. He is love itself, and that love is directed fully toward you.

Rewiring the Mind to Accept Love

Our brains have been conditioned to believe lies about God and ourselves. Over time, these false beliefs shape our emotions, our self-worth, and even our relationships. But just as negative thinking can be ingrained, positive truths can be reinforced.

A simple but powerful exercise is standing in front of a mirror each day and declaring the truth:

I am and have always been God’s beloved child.
I am deeply loved, accepted, and cherished.
God’s love for me is unconditional—there is nothing I can do to change it.
I am worthy of love, simply because I am His.

At first, it may feel uncomfortable. But with time, these truths will begin to reshape your heart and mind.

Spiritual Orphan Syndrome: Living as if You Are Not Loved

Many live as spiritual orphans rather than as children of God. An orphan mentality is one of survival—fighting for approval, working to be good enough, and fearing rejection. A child of God rests in the security of the Father’s love.

A story is told of an orphan boy who was adopted into a wealthy family. He had spent years fighting for food, wearing tattered clothes, and never having a place to call home. When he arrived at his new home, his adoptive father showed him a beautiful bedroom, a stocked kitchen, and all the comforts of family life.

But for weeks, the boy refused to sleep in his bed. Instead, he made a straw bed in the stables. He still scavenged for food, not trusting that there would always be enough. He was technically adopted, but he wasn’t living like a son.

Some of us live the same way. We’re children of God, but we still live as if we’re orphans—struggling for worth, fearing abandonment, and doubting love. But God’s message to us is clear:

“You are my child. Everything I have is already yours. Stop living as if you are unloved.”

The orphan mentality keeps us from fully participating in God’s love. It keeps us bound in fear, unable to receive what is freely given.

Healing from Spiritual Abandonment

Orphan mentality causes us to suffer from what is called spiritual orphan syndrome. Just like children who’ve been abandoned by their parents may struggle with feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, and fear, many people feel emotionally distant from God. This leads to:

Alienation from God, avoiding intimacy with Him.
Guilt, believing that mistakes make them unworthy.
Fear and uncertainty, constantly questioning if God is truly for them.
Trying to earn God’s love through performance rather than receiving it freely.

The only way to heal from this is to experience the love of the Father firsthand. Not as a theory, not as a doctrine, but as a real, personal encounter.

Moving from Fear to Love

So how do we transition from feeling like abandoned children to fully embraced sons and daughters?

Admit where you are. No more hiding. Acknowledge the areas where you have doubted God’s love.
Release the burden of change. Transformation is God’s job, not yours. Let Him do the work.
Ask God to open your eyes. Pray for the awareness of His love each day.
Thank Him for the journey. Even the painful moments have led you to this point. Nothing is wasted.

Living in the Fullness of Love

Your journey is not about trying to become something—it’s about realizing what is already true. You’re already included in God’s love. You’re already embraced. You’re already enough.

The question is not whether God loves you. The question is: Will you participate in that love?

Authentic love—the love that asks for nothing in return, that never controls, that always seeks the best—is yours. Will you accept it?

Go even deeper! Check out D. Scott Cook’s book Alignment Of Authentic Love: Living Your Highest Life.