I grew up believing God was holy, righteous, untouchable, distant and very angry with his created beings (me in particular) because of sin. He was this distant, angry G-O-D God, who was aloof, out to get me, never pleased with anything I did, could hardly wait to judge me and was anything but a loving, compassionate, kind and caring father. I never felt He was ever really pleased with me, and my relationship with Him was one of distrust and distance (me keeping my distance, not Him).
Jesus the Son was someone I could feel close to because He died for me and rose for me. As long as Jesus was in the room, I was okay. But, if He ever left, there could be trouble.
I knew about the Holy Spirit but wasn’t sure about His part in everything other than He lived in me and I couldn’t feel Him, just had to trust that He did. I lived in this idea of an angry Father God, always wondering why it was difficult to trust Him, to obey and to feel close to Him.
Until one day, I fell very ill and my life changed dramatically. I had developed a neurological condition along with other serious health issues. And, after seeing many specialists and having an array of tests, my condition still remains undiagnosed. Through this health crisis, the one thing God seem to say to me was, “Do you believe I love (agape) you in the midst of the greatest contradictions, and would you trust Me?”
I struggled with this for nearly a year, until God opened my eyes to His love for me, who He truly was as a God of love and that He was a Good God (my Father as a father should be) who always sought my best interest, regardless of the deepest hell I may find myself in. I learned that He was never distant from me, nor was He ever angry with me. He was always my father and mother God (though we call God “him” or “he,” He is neither male or female and is the person we need regardless of the need).
If you still see God as an angry, G-O-D God, who is distant and unavailable in your life, who is more interested in judging you and getting back at you for your failures and mistakes, then I want to encourage you. That’s not the God of the Bible, never has been, never will be!
This ministry exists to share the agape love of the Father, Son and Spirit, because this agape defines them. It is the same love they have shared with each other throughout eternity. And, it is the same way they have loved you, even in your darkest moments.