For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38, 39
“Every attempt to describe any and every action, or seeming inaction, of God will always be relational, interpersonal, and loving – and totally inclusive of you.” Richard Rohr
Every good salesperson knows that individuals make buying decisions with their feelings and justify the purchase with their minds. In other words, we buy on emotion and justify with logic. Appeal to how someone feels effectively, and you are much more likely to close the deal.
The same can be said for our relationship with God. How we feel about Him will ultimately dictate how we relate to Him, regardless of what we “say” we believe about Him. With God, we tend to run to Him with our mind (giving mental assent, without trust), but run from Him with our feelings (maintaining a sense of control, but losing the relational closeness in the process). Dr. Michael Wells, who wrote the book Sidetracked in the Wilderness defined this as our “emotional concept of God.”
Come to me, stay away…
Many of us may have experienced this in relationships: come close to me, with hand out, then when you get too close, the stop hand goes up, that far and no further! Don’t get to close because I could get hurt. We can do this to God as well. We may say we agree with what the bible says about God as a Father, His character and nature. But if our feelings about Him don’t line up with what we say we believe; the relationship will suffer from a lack of trust and intimacy.
From my own journey and in talking to others, below are some things people have said about how they truly felt about God when things in their life were at their worst:
doesn’t help me when needed
can’t be counted on
is always judging me
impossible to please
angry with me
is always condemning me
scares me
will “get me” if I don’t obey
wants to control me
will make my life miserable
If I felt that way about someone, I would run from trust, intimacy and relationship too!
His love is greater than our behavior.
Good News! You are loved even when your true beliefs, feelings and behavior don’t line up with who He is. You are cared for, desired, embraced, included, adored and accepted regardless of your performance. His love is not for sale, it’s unconditional and even when you don’t trust or embrace Him for who He really is, He is embracing and loving you!
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:4-7
What if my feelings and beliefs are in the way?
What do I do if my feelings and beliefs about God are getting in the way of a healthy relationship with Him? Here are a few suggestions:
It’s OK to be where you are. Just be honest and admit it to yourself and God (He already knows anyway), then leave it in His hands. It’s not your job to change your feelings and beliefs, He will do that in time.
Acknowledge that trust with God is not built over night, it takes time, and God is not in a hurry. He loves you and He will build the relationship with your participation, when your willing to simply give it to Him.
Accept and begin to enjoy the reality that you are a finished work in Christ, that God will take care of the details as you enjoy the rest that comes in His completed work. That takes the load off of you!
There remains therefore a rest for the people of God. For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased from his works as God did from His. Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest…Hebrews 4:9-11a