Unconditional Acceptance
“While he was still speaking, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them; and suddenly a voice came out of the cloud, saying, "This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. Hear Him!“ Matthew 17:5
“…having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.” Ephesians 1:5, 6
“I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me, and I do not want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So, I am going to stop being my own critic. It's high time that I accept all the great things about me.” C. JoyBell
I played a lot of sandlot football as a kid. The most difficult part was picking the teams. I hated that! When I was younger than the others, I’d always get picked last. And that led to feeling all forms of rejection.
As I grew older, bigger and faster, things changed. I’d almost always get picked first. People wanted me on their team. I could catch, leap, run fast and block. Instead of feeling rejected, I felt accepted and gratified that my skills were respected and desired. I also began to notice who was being picked last. I knew what that felt like and didn’t want others to feel it. So one day, I chose the youngest player who was 8, as my first pick. Everyone gasped; I was picking the player who could least likely help us win. But, I was picking the player who needed to be picked the most.
Long ago, God embraced and accepted you. He did so because you were always His child. You were embraced and accepted before you could do anything good or bad. And not only you, but everyone else as well! God does not do rejection.
The need for unconditional acceptance
There’s not a person on this planet who doesn’t need unconditional acceptance. The sense that I’m accepted, just for who I am, for what I am and for simply being me. Acceptance is at the heart of loving yourself and receiving love from God and other people. When you feel accepted by God and yourself, it makes it easier to receive and give acceptance.
Research shows that many neuroses come from the rejection that we have experienced in life from our parents, family, friends, coworkers and spouses. These experiences have helped to create a false sense of self, causing us to struggle in relationships. This includes our most important relationship: God.
Unconditional acceptance defined
God accepts us conditionally without expectations. He’s not looking to get anything out of you, nor is He trying to manipulate you. He simply IS unconditional love. And unconditional love accepts without condition. Many of us struggle with this concept because we confuse our performance with acceptance.
You’re unconditionally accepted because you’re made in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:26, 27). He sees you and He sees apart of Himself because you’re His child. What parent who truly loves their child doesn’t unconditionally accept him or her?
On the other hand, living by performance means you must do certain things at a certain level to get acceptance. This kind of acceptance is conditional, and it’s the way most give acceptance. But living this way is a tread mill. It’s filled with ups and downs. Doubt and worry. Always concerned with measuring up at any given moment.
Performance acceptance and genuine acceptance
We’ve been trained from our earliest days to perform for people. Mom and dad would say, “Be a good little boy or girl,” insinuating that if we do, we’ll be accepted. Coaches measure our physical abilities to see if we’re good enough for a spot on the team. Teachers test our mental abilities to see if we can score a good grade. And employers are constantly evaluating us on our performance. If it’s exceptionally good, we might even receive a raise or a promotion.
While it’s understandable that people are held accountable for what’s expected of them, this can create surface-level people who don’t know how to be transparent or real. This leads to all kinds of difficulties in relationships, fueling distrust, lack of communication and a fear of not measuring up.
In this capitalist world we live in, performance and competition are the norm. But not with God. He is loving you unconditionally every moment, cheering you on, encouraging you and accepting you right where you are. He enjoys the journey with you, seeing you grow in your awareness of how much you’re loved and accepted. He knows the beginning from the end and is never disappointed or upset with you. Every failure is an opportunity for genuine growth and change that is organic and real. His acceptance is genuine and based on nothing but your inherent value and worth as His child.
Accepting God’s unconditional acceptance
The problem is we’re so conditioned to perform for God, others, and ourselves, that we have difficulty accepting His unconditional acceptance. It’s hard to accept something unconditionally and freely, when everything and everyone in your life has made you work to earn it. By His unconditional grace He has accepted us completely (Ephesians 1:3-5). The finished work of Christ, in which you were included (Romans 6:4-6) is the final word regarding your acceptance as His child.
The question is do you accept His unconditional acceptance of you in Christ Jesus? Because you’re in union with Christ apart from any work or effort on your part. If it’s something that’s objectively true, would you be willing to accept it subjectively each moment in your life? Like a Christmas present that’s yours, it only remains for you to enjoy it!
Accepting yourself, as you are
If God has accepted you unconditionally, completely without condition or exception, would you be willing to accept yourself as well? Here are six tips to help you begin enjoying God’s amazing unconditional acceptance each moment:
Remember, you were accepted completely just as you are BEFORE you ever arrived on this planet! Take a deep breath and relax.
God’s work in Christ and your inclusion fully in His finished work has settled the acceptance question.
Acknowledge His acceptance each morning when you wake up and each evening when you go to bed.
“Neurons that fire together wire together” (Joe Dispenza). The more you think on this truth and say it, the more your brain will rewire from someone unacceptable to someone who is accepted in Christ.
Be nice to yourself. You can enjoy who you are, even with problems and issues. God isn’t interested in a sprint; life is a marathon. Enjoy the moment knowing you are fully loved and accepted.
Treat failure as an opportunity to grow and learn. Never waste a failure!
What could be more wonderful than having received the love and acceptance of God, then to love and accept yourself, so you can love and accept others? That’s what life is all about, knowing you have been loved and accepted unconditionally by your heavenly Father.