There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear. So then, love has not been made perfect in anyone who is afraid, because fear has to do with punishment. -I John 4:18 GNT

Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion. -Brennan Manning

I used to think that my relationship with God was built purely on knowledge. If I read the Bible, prayed, and did all the right things, then surely my faith would be strong. But something felt off. No matter how much I studied, there was a disconnect. Over time, I realized that my emotions toward God—how I felt about Him—were shaping my spiritual life more than I ever understood.

We often assume our faith is driven by what we believe in our minds, but in reality, our hearts tell a different story. We may say, God is good, but if we feel abandoned in our struggles, do we truly trust that goodness? If we claim God is loving, yet secretly believe He is impossible to please, how close do we allow ourselves to get to Him?

Our emotions create the lens through which we see God, and that perspective influences everything.

Why Do We Keep God at a Distance?

Many of us long for closeness with God, but at the same time, we hesitate. We may not even realize we’re doing it, but deep down, something holds us back. I’ve met so many people who desire a deeper faith but wrestle with feelings of unworthiness, fear, or even distrust of God.

Some common thoughts I’ve heard from others—and even battled myself—include:

God is disappointed in me.
I have to work harder to be worthy of Him.
God will bless others, but not me.
He is distant and uninvolved in my struggles.
I can’t be honest with God because He will judge me.

Thoughts like these are significant, because what we believe emotionally about God determines whether we run toward Him or away from Him. If we secretly think He’s always watching to catch our failures, we’ll approach Him with hesitation, not confidence. If we think He’s distant and uninterested, we won’t expect Him to be active in our lives.

The way we feel about God impacts how we pray, how we worship, how we read Scripture, and how we experience His presence. Even how we relate to those around us.

The First Human Response to Fear

This emotional struggle is nothing new. In fact, we see it in the very first humans. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, their first reaction was to hide.

“Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.” (Genesis 3:7) NKJV

Instead of running to God for help, they ran away. Why? Because suddenly, they saw Him through a lens of fear instead of love. They assumed He would be angry, that His presence meant punishment, and they felt ashamed. But the truth was, God had not changed. They had.

Their feelings shaped how they saw God, and that perception caused them to distance themselves. The same thing happens to us today.

The Lies We Believe About God

Throughout life, we pick up ideas about God—some true, some false. Unfortunately, many of us have unknowingly adopted a distorted view of Him. Our upbringing, past experiences, and even religious teachings can leave us with an inaccurate picture of His character.

We may feel that God is harsh because authority figures in our lives were harsh. We may believe He is absent because we’ve felt unseen in our struggles. We may think we need to prove our worth because human love has often been conditional.

But just because we feel something doesn’t mean it’s true.

Shifting from Fear to Love

The Bible makes it clear that God’s nature is love—not just in what He does, but in who He is.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4:18) NKJV
“The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.: (Psalm 145:8) NIV
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness.” (Galatians 5:22) NIV

If our feelings about God are dominated by fear, guilt, or hesitation, it’s a sign that we haven’t yet fully grasped His love. God never intended for us to walk in uncertainty about our standing with Him. He longs for us to know, beyond any doubt, that we’re cherished.

How Our Feelings Affect Our Faith

When our emotions are out of alignment with the truth, it creates a barrier between us and God. We see this in several ways:

Prayer becomes difficult. If we feel unworthy or think God isn’t listening, we hesitate to pray with confidence.
Worship feels forced. When we don’t trust God’s love, worship may feel like a performance instead of a response.
Reading the Bible becomes a struggle. If we secretly think God is distant or demanding, we may read Scripture through a lens of duty instead of joy.
We strive instead of rest. If we believe we must earn God’s love, we constantly strive to be “good enough” instead of resting in His grace.

What If God Is More Loving Than You Ever Imagined?

What if the version of God you’ve feared isn’t real? What if He is more loving, more compassionate, and more patient than you’ve ever dared to believe?

Imagine a God who:

Welcomes you in your mess, not just when you have it all together.
Listens to every prayer, even the ones you’re afraid to pray.
Never withholds love based on your mistakes.
Delights in you simply because you’re His.

This is the true heart of God. He’s not standing at a distance, waiting for you to measure up. He’s already near, inviting you to trust Him.

Healing Our Emotions Toward God

If you recognize that your feelings about God have been shaped by fear, past hurts, or misconceptions, don’t be discouraged. The good news is that emotions can be healed, and perceptions can change.

Begin shifting how you feel about God with some of these practices:

Acknowledge how you truly feel. Be honest with yourself about any fears, doubts, or hesitations you have toward God.
Compare your feelings to Scripture. What does the Bible actually say about God’s nature? Do your emotions align with truth?
Invite God into the process. Ask Him to reveal His love to you in a personal way.
Surround yourself with truth. Find encouraging books, sermons, or mentors who reinforce the reality of God’s kindness.
Give yourself grace. Changing deep-seated emotions takes time. Be patient with yourself as you grow in trust.

A New Perspective

If you’ve spent years believing that God is distant, demanding, or impossible to please, I encourage you to take a step back and ask yourself:

What if I’ve been wrong about Him?
What if He is better than I ever imagined?
What if His love is deeper than I’ve ever experienced?
What if He’s been right beside me all along, waiting for me to see Him clearly?

No matter what your emotions have told you, the truth remains: God is for you, not against you. And once you begin to feel that truth deep in your heart, everything changes.

It’s time to stop running, stop hiding, and start embracing the love that has always been yours.

Want to know more? See D. Scott Cook’s book Alignment Of Authentic Love: Living Your Highest Life.