“But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God … and righteousness and sanctification and redemption …” I Corinthians 1:30
“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
“Everyone of us is shadowed by an illusory person: a false self … we are not very good at recognizing illusions, least of all the ones we cherish about ourselves.” Thomas Merton, from New Seeds of Contemplation.
Attending a costume party can be quite entertaining. People dressed up in masks pretend they’re someone else for an entire evening. The whole time they’re in costume, they’re playing a role. The more convincing the outfit and the acting, the greater the illusion. And the fun.
However, eventually the party’s over. Everyone goes home. Once there, they take off their costumes, look in the mirror, and once again, see themselves for who they really are. But who is that? Who is the REAL person?
The “costumes” and “masks” we put on daily (even unknowingly) also help us pretend to be someone else for a while. Maybe it’s to gain someone’s approval. Or, make us feel better about ourselves. And, we live in this false identity day after day hoping others don’t ever see through the facade.
Been there? Then, you know it’s exhausting and eventually ends because it’s a lie.
There’s a better way: a life based on the TRUE you. The person known and determined by God in your oneness and union with Him through Christ.
Living from the False Self
Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest and author of “Falling Forward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life,” describes the false self as that false part of us that we hold on to, that we believe is who we are and project to others. It typically stems from false identities we’ve formed based on traumatic events, things our parents or others have told us, emotional hurts and wounds we’ve received, and the lies we’ve listened to from Satan and the world.
Messages such as,
· “I’m not good enough”
· “I’m not worthy to be loved”
· “I’m not acceptable”
· “I’m not lovable”
· “I’m inferior”
· “I’m a failure”
· “I’m inadequate”
The list can go on and on. Baxter Kruger, in his book “The Great Dance,” calls these “the I AM NOTs.”
These false identities impact our ability to enjoy and love ourselves, and our ability to love others. But this false self is just that, it IS false. It’s not the true you, the person that God knows, loves and accepts unconditionally.
Your true self is not what your parents told you in anger, or what other people said to hurt you. You’re not the failures or mistakes you’ve made in the past that may still haunt you.
These things can never truly identify you, unless you let them.
The True You
To know the true you, you must first understand what God knows to be true of you in your oneness and union with Christ Jesus His Son.
The apostle Paul wrote in Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
This false self, or flesh, as the apostle Paul calls it (I prefer to call it the ego; the “I” who’s trying to become something apart from God), died with Christ.
This “I” apart from Christ, no longer lives. We are now one in spirit with Christ and He is one with our spirit (“But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.” 1 Corinthians 6:17).
We now live by the reality of this union in Christ – and His life in us – through the faithfulness of Christ Jesus. This is our true self.
The reason we can live in this reality is that Christ sacrificially loved us and freely gave Himself for us. Love is the thing that changes everything. Sacrificial love gives and never stops giving.
You can’t really know yourself apart from Christ. When you see Him, it’s a mirror reflection of yourself. What is true of Him, is true of you (“as He is so are we in this world.” I John 4:17b).
Performance does NOT equal identity. Your union with Christ determines your identity. And, God did that for you apart from anything you did or even the ego’s attempts of faith. This is the REAL you. And, soul peace, soul rest and soul quietness are yours in the finished work in Christ.
Removing the Costume and Mask: Feeling Good About the True You
It’s one thing to know this, it’s another thing to actually participate in it and feel good about your true self in union with Christ.
Here’s how I aligned my feelings to the truth. God’s truth about me. I encourage you to do these, too!
Acknowledge any false identities you believe about yourself. Write down all the I AM NOTs that may be causing you to live with a mask, a false bravado, and keep you from intimacy with God and others.
Now,write down all the I AM truths of your identity in Christ that nullify (forevermore!) the I AM NOTs. Our website’s home page has some great identity messages to help you with this. We also have a PDF of even more identity messages we’d love to email you just for asking (use our Contact Us page).
Confess these I AM statements out loud each morning and before you go to bed. Let them sink down deep into your heart, mind and soul.
Remind yourself that you are loved unconditionally apart from the failures of the past or any mistakes you may have made. God’s love isn’t for sale and can’t be earned by good behavior or performance of any kind.
Remember that past behaviors do not equal identity. Who you are was determined in your union with Christ. And, God accomplished that apart from your help or self-effort. That’s why it’s called grace!
Give God permission to love you, so you can begin to love yourself, the true you in Christ. Bask quietly in His love and adoration, like a new parent adoring their new child. That person is worth loving … and, that’s YOU!
So you can put away the costumes and masks because your true self is one with Christ (I Corinthians 3:23). And the Holy Spirit lives in you (Colossians 1:27) to lead and guide you into all truth.
That’s something to give thanks for, to enjoy and feel good about!